PIERRE PAGE EXCLUSIVE: THE TOP TEN ATHLETES WHOSE NAMES SOUND LIKE SEXUAL MANEUVERS

In the interests of promoting awareness of healthy sexual activity, we at the Pierre Page have compiled a list of the ten athletes whose names are most likely to be confused for sexual positions. We repeat: these are not actual sexual maneuvers. Please do not try these at home without a trained kinesthesiologist on call.

10. Rusty Kuntz

9. Rock Cartwright
8. Cleveland Gary

7. Reggie Miller

6. Dick Trickle
5. Ickey Woods
Oddly enough, though, The Ickey Shuffle is actually a sexual maneuver involving a football, Sam Wyche and a cheerleader.

4. Vai Sikahema
Vai Sikahema was a Tongan running back, and should not be confused with the sexual position where m'lady is having her way with two men at the same time.

3. Mosi Tatupu
If Mosi Tatupu was a sexual maneuver, and not a former Patriots running back, it would most certainly involving defacation, Girl Scout cookies, a liter of Powerade, four men and three women.

2. Usain Bolt
You can basically insert your own "minute man" or "the guy who always beats Gay" joke here. It's easy.

1. Magic Johnson
If this was a sexual maneuver, it would involve no-look passes, a lack of protection, baby skyhooks, and yelling the phrase "It's Showtime!"

Honorable mention: Rusty Wallace, Mookie Wilson, Les Straker, Jhonny Peralta, T.J. Houshmandzadeh, Rabid Manu Ginobili