Legs on Post-Post-Neo-Reverse-Racism

Continuing our coverage of the ridiculous state of intelligent sporting analysis by ESPN, I present you with a little nugget, nay, a shimmering gem of a clip of Tim Legler waxing reverse-racism on the Mike and Mike ESPN Radio Show:

Of course the Pierre Page believes Timothy Eugene "Legs" Legler to be a very athletic and elite man, but we'd certainly LOVE to see that bell-hop blow him right out his half-top Reeboks and Dep Styling Product. We too understand what it must feel like to be undrafted, underappreciated and under-valued for ten-ish seasons (some of us were under-appreciated high school JV tennis players), probably for the same reasons Hansbrough was drafted at 13: not athletic enough, not black enough, not Larry Bird.

It's so damn obvious Hansbrough won't be as dominant in the NBA as he was in college. It has nothing to do with being white, he's just no where near as athletic as most employed NBA forwards. Definitely not as athletic as Teen Wolf, who may have gone number one over-all this year if it weren't for his championing of wolfing in moderation.

A Brief Comparison of Hansbrough and Teen

1. Teen can play center in the NBA. Hansbrough can't. He's not big enough regardless of what people say about his intangible "big" play. Big play, as defined by Teen Wolf, is trouncing the opposing squad with complete disregard for family secrets.

2. Teen can play the point. Hansbrough has Dwight Howard-like finesse. See my previous post An Open Letter to Dwight Howard.

3. Teen can play forward even with Chubby chewing an Almond Joy mid-court. I'm not convinced T to the Y could have the same effect on a squad of the 5 worst draft picks in the past 10 years. The Big Two: Stromile Swift and Hansbrough Win 3rd NBA Title.

Nah.

Instead, I'm thinking T-Hans is more of an off-the-bench forward; an energizer. Teen defined the role of energizer so not like that, more like a Lisa "Boof" Marconi or a Rupert "Stiles" Stilinski, keeping the bleachers stylish and in stitches. Plus, on a team that already has a few Mick McAllister's in Danny Granger, Troy Murphy and Mike Dunleavy, someone's gotta be jivin' the bench.

So c'mon Legs, lighten up, questioning athleticism (white, black or Turkish) is kind of the point of the draft, no? If we just went on stats, accolades and intangibles from college, high school and Euro leagues, the Nuggets should have one damn good white player in Nikoloz Tskitishvili who, by the way, was picked over Nene, Amare Stoudamire AND Caron Butler! Just be happy you got your own Pamela Wells, or many of them, and let the racial politics be.