According to my sources, the NBA draft lottery takes place tomorrow, with the results being announced before Game 1 of the Western Conference Finals. The Kings, who finished with the worst record in the league, have a 25% chance of getting the first overall pick, which will most likely be Oklahoma C Blake Griffin. Our hometown Timberwolves have officially a 7.6% chance of getting the first, second, or third overall pick, but having been a Timberwolves fan for most of my life, I would lower the odds down to oh, about a 0.00% chance of landing one of the top 3 picks. Given the PP's pro-Spaniard, pro-shaggy haircut bias, we are all in favor of the Wolves getting the second pick, which would allow us to take supple young shag-haired Ricky Rubio. Alas, it will not be. In fact, here are several things more likely to happen than the Timberwolves having one of their ping-pong balls fall down that fated hopper:
1. Dick Cheney records a hip-hop album with Soulja Boy.
2. Yao Ming makes it through an important sequence of games without getting hurt.
2. Yao Ming makes it through an important sequence of games without getting hurt.
3. Lou Dobbs is outed as having several wives, all of whom are either Chinese nationalists or illegal Mexican immigrants.
4. Brett Favre stays retired.
5. Brett Favre willingly attends mini-camps.
6. Seth McFarlane has an entire episode of Family Guy that doesn't rip off several jokes and its entire premise from The Simpsons.
7. Dinosaurs found living in Winnipeg.
So Wolves fans, line up now to get your Demar Derozan jerseys, because we all know that this team needs another swingman like it needs Christian Laettner as its next head coach.6. Seth McFarlane has an entire episode of Family Guy that doesn't rip off several jokes and its entire premise from The Simpsons.
7. Dinosaurs found living in Winnipeg.
The NBA, where David Stern holds grudges forever.
Will SweetV move back to Minnesota if the Wolves somehow land Rubio? How about if Bill Simmons is making the pick as T-Wolves GM??
ReplyDeleteTom Penn has apparently dropped out of the running as Wolves GM; these makes either Bill Simmons or Jacques Lemaire the frontrunner at this point.
ReplyDeleteBTW, how excellent would that be--both Ricardo Rubio and Jacques Lemaire holding press conferences together? They would have no idea what the other one was saying, ever.
I don't know what this means, but you can run a mock lottery on ESPN, and it took me eight tries before I got Rubio on the T-Wolves. Three of the first six tries had the Wolves moving down from the 5 spot to either 6 or 7. This is far more likely, I feel.
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