File Under: Zebras Changing Stripes Department

More proof that a zebra truly can't change its stripes:



What's next? Terrell Owens alienating teammates? Brett Favre faking an injury to get out of two-a-days? Chris Henry re-dying?

A Cautionary Tale

So, I took Gordon Beckham in the 6th round of our fantasy baseball draft this year. He is lighting it up so far this year. For proof, check out these stats: .199 batting average, 1 HR, 16 RBI, .255 slugging percentage. Other players available at this time included:

• Ubaldo Jimenez (taken 4 picks later), SP, Colorado; 14-1, 2.27 ERA, 1.08 WHIP, 107 K, 3 CG
  
• Brandon Phillips, (taken in the 10th round) 2B, Cincinnati; .306 BA, 11 HR, 28 RBI, 10 SB, 23 2B, 64 Runs Scored
  
• Jayson Werth (taken in the 7th round), OF, Philadelphia; .281 BA, 13 HR, 48 RBI, 51 Runs Scored, 26 2B
• Josh Hamilton (taken in the 8th round), OF, Texas; .342 BA, 21 HR, 62 RBI, 58 Runs scored, 23 2B, 6 SB
• Stephen Strasburg

I could go on, but you get the point. The lesson? Possibly that athletes who are named Beckham are inherently overrated by some, but perhaps a better lesson would be that I am never going to succeed in fantasy sports. A later column will be devoted to my foibles over the years in drafting for all fantasy sports, but for now, it is just too painful.

I suppose it could be worse, though. I could be a French soccer fan. Or this guy:

Square as a Pan of Fudge

That sports personalities over-romanticize their role and impact on the world is NOT a great secret. Players address their "role model" status on the daily, coaches are honored as philosophers and league officials project morality-syndromes on league policy. But, the Mitch Albomization of sports needs to end. Now. Take a look at Rick Reilly doing his best Mitch Albom impression:

Then, watch some of this:

I can't help thinking about the size of Albom's ears and all his talk about listening. I am not sure he hears anything at all, not even his own neatly packaged aphorisms for the people who don't like thinking.

So, Rick Reilly publishes a book about John Wooden on how to make love last. He'll give us a bunch of answers. People will scramble their lives trying to adhere to the opinions like dogma. And, in the end, nothing will have changed; these two guys line their pockets with the crocodile tears of someone else's stories.