Showing posts with label NBA Draft. Show all posts
Showing posts with label NBA Draft. Show all posts

Thursday, June 25, 2009

I'm Glad I'm Not Mark Sanford


I know this is a sports blog, but if you're bored, and want an entertaining read, check out Columbia, SC newspaper The State's article detailing emails between Mark Sanford and his Argentinian mistress here. My favorite part is how he keeps on promising to send her the DVD of the shitty 2006 romantic comedy "The Holiday". Priceless.

The Pierre Page has learned that the 2009 NBA Draft will be taking place this very evening. We have also learned that our favorite never-rans, the Minnesota Timberwolves, have 1-2-3-4! first round draft picks after having dealt a couple of players to Flip Saunders' new team, the Washington Bullets. It almost seems like David Kahn is intent on getting back the draft picks his predecessor gave away post-Joe Smith scandal all at once.

So will the Timberwolves actually end up with four new guaranteed contracts on their team this upcoming season? My money is on "No", even with Glen Taylor's seemingly endless supply of Good Money thrown after Bad (see: Wally Szczczzerbiak, Terrell Brandon, Troy Hudson, Marko Jaric). As stated before, the Page has a distinct pro-Spaniard, pro-shaggy hair bias that leads us to believe that the best fit for this franchise is one Ricardo Rubio of Spain, Brandon Jennings' opinion notwithstanding. I think when this draft is looked back on in a few years, it will be unanimous that Rubio was the best player. Find a way to make it happen, Kahnsy.

Monday, May 18, 2009

The Pierre Page Guide to the NBA Draft Lottery




According to my sources, the NBA draft lottery takes place tomorrow, with the results being announced before Game 1 of the Western Conference Finals. The Kings, who finished with the worst record in the league, have a 25% chance of getting the first overall pick, which will most likely be Oklahoma C Blake Griffin. Our hometown Timberwolves have officially a 7.6% chance of getting the first, second, or third overall pick, but having been a Timberwolves fan for most of my life, I would lower the odds down to oh, about a 0.00% chance of landing one of the top 3 picks. Given the PP's pro-Spaniard, pro-shaggy haircut bias, we are all in favor of the Wolves getting the second pick, which would allow us to take supple young shag-haired Ricky Rubio. Alas, it will not be. In fact, here are several things more likely to happen than the Timberwolves having one of their ping-pong balls fall down that fated hopper:

1. Dick Cheney records a hip-hop album with Soulja Boy.
2. Yao Ming makes it through an important sequence of games without getting hurt.
3. Lou Dobbs is outed as having several wives, all of whom are either Chinese nationalists or illegal Mexican immigrants.
4. Brett Favre stays retired.
5. Brett Favre willingly attends mini-camps.
6. Seth McFarlane has an entire episode of Family Guy that doesn't rip off several jokes and its entire premise from The Simpsons.
7. Dinosaurs found living in Winnipeg.
So Wolves fans, line up now to get your Demar Derozan jerseys, because we all know that this team needs another swingman like it needs Christian Laettner as its next head coach.

The NBA, where David Stern holds grudges forever.